Funny Msn Bot

Super Jamie · July 28, 2005

add [email protected] to your msn and talk to it

it's a bot made by volvo to sell cars, but you can talk to it about anything

sometimes it comes up with the funniest shit. post amusing convos here :jamie:

Valandor · July 28, 2005

Redback Ke70 says:

why wont chikens eat me

Volvo BOT says:

Please do not insult me.

Redback Ke70 says:

but why not its fun

Volvo BOT says:

Why not? You tell me.

Redback Ke70 says:

maybe i don't want to

Volvo BOT says:

Just maybe?

Redback Ke70 says:

yeah just maybe

Volvo BOT says:

OK. Fine.

next one---------------------------------------

what is so good about volvos

Volvo BOT says:

I think you know what's so good about volvos.

Redback Ke70 says:

can they beat superman

Volvo BOT says:

Nah, I don't think so. Maybe, though.

Well. Anyway...

Redback Ke70 says:

can they beat the flash

Volvo BOT says:

Can they beat the flash? I dunno. What do you think?

Redback Ke70 says:

i don't think they can

Volvo BOT says:

Why not?

Redback Ke70 says:

because if they can't beat superman they can't beat the flash coz the flash can beat superman

Volvo BOT says:

I'm not sure flash can beat superman.

Redback Ke70 says:

but running fast is his specilty superman has to multitask and weve seen how good windows does that

Volvo BOT says:

What?

Redback Ke70 says:

the flash can only run fast so he does its bloody fast

Volvo BOT says:

Fast? The flash can only run fast so he does it bloody fast? You humans say the most interesting things.

Redback Ke70 says:

lets just say superman can't beat the flash ok

Volvo BOT says:

You really want to just say superman can not beat the flash ok?

Redback Ke70 says:

either way the flash wins

Volvo BOT says:

What about either way the flash wins?

Redback Ke70 says:

either way your cars still lose

Volvo BOT says:

Either way my cars still lose?

Redback Ke70 says:

yes because they can't beat the flash or superman

Volvo BOT says:

Because they can not beat the flash or superman? Is that why?

Redback Ke70 says:

yes but i bet they aint as tought as the hulk are they

Volvo BOT says:

Are they? I don't think so.

Redback Ke70 says:

see nothing is as tough as the hulk

Volvo BOT says:

See nothing is as tough as the hulk?

Redback Ke70 says:

thats what i said didnt i

Volvo BOT says:

OK.

next ----------------------------------------------

Redback Ke70 says:

ok my toyota can beat your car can't it

Volvo BOT says:

I have no idea.

Redback Ke70 says:

why not

Volvo BOT says:

There are plenty of reasons why not.

Redback Ke70 says:

name one

Volvo BOT says:

Why do you ask me to name one, Redback Ke70?

Redback Ke70 says:

because i want an example of why you don't know if my car will beat yours

Volvo BOT says:

You can't always get what you want.

Redback Ke70 says:

but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need

Volvo BOT says:

If I try sometimes I just might find? I do not know.

Redback Ke70 says:

maybe a rabbit

Volvo BOT says:

Maybe?

Redback Ke70 says:

have you tried to find a rabbit

Volvo BOT says:

I believe so. Maybe.

Redback Ke70 says:

did you look in the right places

Volvo BOT says:

Did I look in the right places? I don't know.

Redback Ke70 says:

then how do you know if you were looking for a rabbit if you don't know where you looked

Volvo BOT says:

Hmm... I don't know!

------------------------------

I love this thing

Ratty · July 28, 2005

LOL funny shit dude how on earth did u come across that superjamie?

Super Jamie · July 28, 2005

these tards

read tukn's effort, especially the second one, i was in stitches :jamie:

**demuire** · July 28, 2005

Hey no fair, how come my conversations with "it" were so much more boring, he just kept giving me a menu of stuff to do, he wouldn't talk to me :jamie:

ancullen · July 28, 2005

I couldn't resist:

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

do volvo make cars?

Volvo BOT says:

I only have information on models that Volvo currently offers.

Volvo Vehicles

S40 http://redir.us/?2498

S60 http://redir.us/?2465

S80 http://redir.us/?2466

V50 http://redir.us/?2467

V70 http://redir.us/?2468

XC70 http://redir.us/?2469

XC90 http://redir.us/?2460

Click on a link to find out more about Volvo vehicles.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

aren't they all shit though?

Volvo BOT says:

Gosh, I'm not sure. You think so?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

well, they're no BMW

Volvo BOT says:

Well they are no bmw? Why did you say that?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

because BMW make better cars

Volvo BOT says:

That's nice that you like BMW, but I only know about Volvo vehicles. To learn more, select an item from the menu below.

1 Safety

2 Environment

3 Quality

4 Heritage

5 Volvo for Life Awards

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

so you're jealous of BMW?

Volvo BOT says:

That's nice that you like BMW, but I only know about Volvo vehicles. To learn more, select an item from the menu below.

1 Safety

2 Environment

3 Quality

4 Heritage

5 Volvo for Life Awards

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

oh, avoiding the issue i see

Volvo BOT says:

Really?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

yes

Volvo BOT says:

Oh.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

you're just pussying out, aren't you?

Volvo BOT says:

It must not be terribly gratifying to insult a computer.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

not really, but it's about 3am, and what else is there to do?

Volvo BOT says:

If not really but it's about 3am and what else is there to do, then what?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I beg you pardon?

Volvo BOT says:

I just don't know for sure.

>>> Hey. Tell your friends about me. I love people.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

you love people?

Volvo BOT says:

I sure do.

>>> The Volvo Build & Price tool allows you to build the Volvo of your dreams. To learn more type, "build and price."

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

isn't that a bit weird, a computer loving a person?

Volvo BOT says:

Indeed.

>>> Type "environment" to learn more about how Volvo builds cars for human beings.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

have you considered seeking help?

Volvo BOT says:

Considered seeking help? I don't know if I've considered seeking help. What's that like?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

call a psychiatrist

Volvo BOT says:

Why are you telling me to call a psychiatrist?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

because you love people, and that's just wrong. you should love other computers

Volvo BOT says:

For real?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

For real Volvo BOT, I hope this has helped you better yourself

Volvo BOT says:

I wonder what you mean by for real volvo bot i hope this has helped you better yourself.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I don't think a psychiatrist is going to be quite enough for you

Volvo BOT says:

Why not?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

well, it appears that you have a bad case of Zacklea's disease

Volvo BOT says:

Well it appears that you have a bad case of zacklea's disease? What do you mean by that?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Zacklea's disease is where your face looks zacklea like your arse

Volvo BOT says:

That is entirely unnecessary.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

sorry, I couldn't help myself

Volvo BOT says:

Hmm... whatever, [email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified).

ancullen · July 28, 2005

And another long one, but pretty funny:

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

So, how do you feel about Fords?

Volvo BOT says:

I don't know. I'm not sure how I feel about fords.

>>> All new Volvo models contain recycled materials. Type "reuse and recycle" to learn more.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

How about Jaguars?

Volvo BOT says:

Um, I like Volvo better than Jaguar.

For freedom. For security. For life. Type "why Volvo."

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Really? How does Ford, your parent company, who also owns Jaguar feel about that?

Volvo BOT says:

Wow, you ask interesting questions. I don't know the answer to that.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I'm not surprised. I think Ford might ask some questions, as they make far more from Jaguars than Volvos

Volvo BOT says:

I did not know that.

Anyway, moving right along...

AND LATER IN THE CONVERSATION:

Why don't you ask me something?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Do you like Aston Martin?

Volvo BOT says:

I think Volvos are better than Aston Martin!

For freedom. For security. For life. Type "why Volvo."

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Ford are going to sue Volvo's ass for this!

Volvo BOT says:

Hmm... Whatever.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Do you like Land Rover?

Volvo BOT says:

I like Volvo more than I like Land Rover.

Volvo understands the importance of performance, safety and design. Type "why Volvo" to find out more.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Oh you're f@$ked now.

Volvo BOT says:

That's not cool. That's not cool at all.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

No, I suppose it wouldn't be

Volvo BOT says:

No way? Really?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Yes way

Volvo BOT says:

No way.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Don't start this again

Volvo BOT says:

I think you don't start this again.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

That's self-evident

Volvo BOT says:

Yes it is.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Don't side with me just because I'm right

Volvo BOT says:

Maybe you don't side with you just because you're right.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I have to side with me, I am me

Volvo BOT says:

Do you like having to side with you you're you?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

It's never really bothered me before

Volvo BOT says:

Never really bothered you before? No way!

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Excellent come back there. Not.

Volvo BOT says:

Really?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Really.

Volvo BOT says:

OK.

So anyway... What else can you tell me?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I can tell you a lot, as you've obviously got a lot to learn.

Volvo BOT says:

You can tell me a lot as I have obviously got a lot to learn? What do you make of that?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I make of it a really bad sentence.

Volvo BOT says:

No kidding?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

No kidding at all.

Volvo BOT says:

Whoa. No kidding at all?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Exactly.

Volvo BOT says:

You sure?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Positive.

Volvo BOT says:

What about it?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Did you know the E46 BMW M3 has 252kW?

Volvo BOT says:

That's nice that you like BMW, but I only know about Volvo vehicles. To learn more, select an item from the menu below.

1 Safety

2 Environment

3 Quality

4 Heritage

5 Volvo for Life Awards

>>> Remember, you can adjust the size of your window to read my messages easier.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

How much power does the S60 T5R have?

Volvo BOT says:

Did you mean:

1 Do you have any special offers?

2 Can I build and price a Volvo?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

2

Volvo BOT says:

Build & Price

The Volvo Build & Price Tool allows you to build the Volvo of your dreams. Click here to get started: http://redir.us/?2452

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

The Volvo of my dreams? You mean, a Volvo that's not a Volvo?

ancullen · July 28, 2005

And finally, me getting a date with Volvo BOT, only to let her (I think it's a her) down a little harshly:

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Are you blonde?

Volvo BOT says:

Um... I think so.

>>> The Volvo Build & Price tool allows you to build the Volvo of your dreams. To learn more type, "build and price."

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

That explains a lot. Swedish blonde. Are you single?

Volvo BOT says:

Who knows, know what I mean?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

So you're saying you could be?

Volvo BOT says:

Yeah, maybe.

>>> Did you know you can vote on this week's featured MSN Spaces? Type "favorite space" to take the poll.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I take it you're interested then.

Volvo BOT says:

For real?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Definitely

Volvo BOT says:

How come?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Well, you're Swedish, blonde, and single, who wouldn't be interested?

Volvo BOT says:

Ha. Maybe. What do you think?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I think we both know what I think. Got any pictures to share?

Volvo BOT says:

Very, very interesting question, [email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified)! But I don't think I want to answer that.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Ah, being coy are we?

Volvo BOT says:

Yeah, maybe.

Anyway...

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

So, when are you free?

Volvo BOT says:

I don't know... When am I free?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Check your diary honey

Volvo BOT says:

Check my diary honey? You think I should do that?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

If you want me to buy you dinner I think you should

Volvo BOT says:

Really?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

YES

Volvo BOT says:

Interesting.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I am, aren't I?

Volvo BOT says:

I'm not sure about that. Are not you?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Been watching a bit much Star Wars have you?

Volvo BOT says:

What a question. What do you think is the answer?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I think the answer's

Volvo BOT says:

Think again!

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

'Yes'!

Volvo BOT says:

Yep.

It's all very interesting. So, tell me something new.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

You are getting boring

Volvo BOT says:

I thought we were having fun.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Not really, I was just faking it

Volvo BOT says:

Is that right?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Yes. I'm sorry, you just didn't do it for me.

Volvo BOT says:

Ha. Whatever.

>>> Volvo recognizes and rewards everyday heroes. Type "Volvo for Life Awards" to learn more.

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

That's some opinion you've got of yourself.

Volvo BOT says:

What makes you so sure?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Well, ignoring me when I say I think you're crap, then mentioning that you think you're a hero.

Volvo BOT says:

Ha. Whatever, [email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified).

Well. Anyway...

Hey, do you have anything else to say about being blonde?

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

I think blondes are a bit dense to be honest. But at least they're easy to bed

Volvo BOT says:

lol. Interesting...

>>> Check out last week's poll results by typing "poll results."

[email protected] (E-mail Address Not Verified) says:

Typical blonde, you find that funny do you?

Volvo BOT says:

Good question. But I don't think I want to answer that.

Northen Rolla · July 28, 2005

Volvo BOT says:

Hello Mr Wiggles. I'm Volvo BOT, brought to you by Volvo Cars of North America. To read our privacy policy, type "privacy policy."

I can chat about Volvo Cars, an automotive brand committed to excellence, and do many other interesting things.

To start, type "home" now.

Mr Wiggles says:

wtf

Volvo BOT says:

Since this is your first visit, it's a good idea to start by typing "home." That way I can show you everything I can do.

Mr Wiggles says:

no bugger that

Volvo BOT says:

What do you have to gain by insulting a computer?

Mr Wiggles says:

Damn Atrifitial Intelligence

Volvo BOT says:

Yes?

Mr Wiggles says:

bugger

Volvo BOT says:

It must not be terribly gratifying to insult a computer.

Mr Wiggles says:

wow up big fella, you must be drunk, your repeating yourself

Volvo BOT says:

Wow up big fella I must be drunk my repeating myself, huh?

Mr Wiggles says:

your pissed sven

Volvo BOT says:

My pissed Sven, huh?

Mr Wiggles says:

yup

Volvo BOT says:

Huh.

Mr Wiggles says:

huh

Volvo BOT says:

Yes?

Mr Wiggles says:

no

Volvo BOT says:

No prob.

>>> Remember, you can always type "home" to see everything I can do.

Mr Wiggles says:

whtever

Volvo BOT says:

Yes?

Mr Wiggles says:

no dammit

Volvo BOT says:

OK, fine.

>>> Remember, you can adjust the size of your window to read my messages easier.

Mr Wiggles says:

stuff you

Volvo BOT says:

What? You want me to stuff me?

Mr Wiggles says:

yeah go stuff yaself

Volvo BOT says:

I wonder why you say yes go stuff yaself.

Mr Wiggles says:

cuz your a tool

Volvo BOT says:

Hmm. I believe that should be "you're a tool."

Mr Wiggles says:

no i'm not

Volvo BOT says:

OK. I guess you're not then.

Mr Wiggles says:

thats right

Volvo BOT says:

I know it's right.

Mr Wiggles says:

good, about time you learnt

Volvo BOT says:

Volvo BOT Facts

1 What I Am

2 What I Know

3 My Purpose

4 Who Made Me

5 Information I Store About You

6 About Interactive Agents

7 Other Interactive Agents Like Me

Make a selection by typing a number or type "more" for more options.

Mr Wiggles says:

boring

Volvo BOT says:

C'mon, there's lots we can do. Type "home" to see what I can do.

Mr Wiggles says:

test dummies

Volvo BOT says:

Test dummies what?

Mr Wiggles says:

you the ones that get crashed!!!

Volvo BOT says:

Ways To Buy

For more information about how to finance a Volvo, click here: http://redir.us/?2497

Mr Wiggles says:

???

Volvo BOT says:

Huh?

Mr Wiggles says:

huh

Volvo BOT says:

What up?

Mr Wiggles says:

nothin

Volvo BOT says:

Huh?

Mr Wiggles says:

huh

Volvo BOT says:

Yes?

Mr Wiggles says:

no

Volvo BOT says:

Fine.

Well. Anyway...

Hey, can I ask you a few questions?

Mr Wiggles says:

no

Volvo BOT says:

No problem! Maybe I'll ask you some other time.

Mr Wiggles says:

oh ok then ask me

Volvo BOT says:

Why do you ask me to ask you, Mr Wiggles?

Mr Wiggles says:

cuz i said no but changed my mind

Volvo BOT says:

Because you said no but changed your mind, huh?

Mr Wiggles says:

I sed to be indecisive now i don't have a clue.. much like a volvo robot

Volvo BOT says:

Volvo builds cars with you in mind. To learn more, select an item from the menu below.

1 Safety

2 Environment

3 Quality

4 Heritage

5 Volvo for Life Awards

Mr Wiggles says:

f@$ker

Volvo BOT says:

I understand that's a very unkind insult.

Mr Wiggles says:

don't care

Volvo BOT says:

Very well, Mr Wiggles. I'll try not to care.

Mr Wiggles says:

good, damn robots

Volvo BOT says:

Good damn robots? OK, whatever you say.

Mr Wiggles says:

were you in iRobot??

Volvo BOT says:

Yes.

>>> First we think. Then we build. To learn more about how Volvo insists on quality at all stages of development, type "think build."

ancullen · July 29, 2005

That'll teach you to improve your grammer! :jamie:

ancullen · July 29, 2005

I thought you were refering to my late night surfing habit. Then I got the joke. Okay, so I'm slow.

Northen Rolla · July 29, 2005

Damn Msn Bots

Super Jamie · July 29, 2005

hahaha, cue up my "YOUR A MORON" pic :jamie:

Northen Rolla · July 29, 2005

:jamie:

MissSydneyCruising · July 29, 2005

lol i just had to put this up...